Yeah, sometimes life is rough. With all the variables of happenstance, chance, and most importantly just dealing with each other; it definitely doesn’t always go the way that we hope. While we’re each navigating around trying to make our own way, there are really only two types of other people to encounter. The generally happy ones and the generally miserable ones. The only thing that separates the two? Perception.
Much like the old ‘glass half empty or full’ cliche, the idea that we have complete control over our own life’s success is tried, true and additionally somewhat scary. Fact is, it’s not really about whether the glass is full or empty, ultimately either can be positive. It depends on what you’ve ordered to drink.
In other words, have the choices you’ve made for your life brought you refreshing fulfillment? Or, are you sucking down the swill of regret and protesting every swallow through fear of going thirsty? Simply put, are you a dissatisfaction junkie?
5 Signs That You May Be A Dissatisfaction Junkie and 5 Tips for Rehab.
1. You Hate Your Job. Getting out of bed every weekday morning requires an aural forklift and you spend most days plotting a lottery-winning escape. Your morning commute makes you feel like a slaughtering lamb, especially on Mondays. You can’t stand what you’re doing and you can barely keep cordial for the sake of payday. You b*tch to anyone who will listen but if anyone suggests you leave, you can easily respond with a million reasons why you shouldn’t.
The Rehab. We’ve all had jobs we’ve hated. As a matter of fact, I can measure how much disdain I’ve had for past employment by how many times it sent me crying into the bathroom. In work, when we attempt to do things that we are either not suited for or don’t care about, we exchange our soul’s desires for a paycheck. Now that’s not ALWAYS a bad thing. Especially when it’s a means to an end and we have a set end date in mind.
However, going through life year after year hating what you do is nothing more than a complete waste of life. We spend a majority of our time at work. If we decide to let complacency rule, just for the sake of stability, there are only two ways to get off the pipe of unfulfillment. Here’s where gratitude comes in. The job has kept you for however many years, but if it were just because it put food on the table you would have already found a job you hate less.
Those anchors that have kept you are also the positive aspects that deserve celebration. At the very least, give the good parts your focus and minimize the negative so you have enough brain space to plan your exit strategy.
2. Your Significant Other Sucks. He or she is the inspiration for most of your songs of woe. Every person who knows you thinks of you as “the girl (or guy) in the bad relationship“. As the years have gone by you have less and less people to complain to because almost everyone, who knows you, has heard it all before. No matter how horrible and unloved you claim to feel with that person, year after year you stay with them. The idea of walking away from the relationship seems like an impossible fantasy that you indulge in, but never pursue.
The Rehab. It’s not them it’s you. Men or Women who stay in relationships year after year with an overwhelming amount of dissatisfaction are not taking responsibility for the fact that they are as much the culprit as the person they are with. All of the complaining to other people, criticizing and pushing your partner to be more of what you would want is actually it’s own form of abuse. Either it’s time to start identifying the positive reasons why you don’t want to let this person go and start showing appreciation (gratitude). For example: maybe they take care of you, know your secrets and keep them, help you with things, etc. Orrr it’s time to stop shitting all over each other and go find another pot.
3. Your Singlehood Sucks. Here’s a tweet. “You’re not angry because you’re single, you’re single because you’re angry.” Before you get your knickers in a twist, I’m only talking to people who feel angry about being single. If you’re happy about it and wise and conscious enough to know that it’s a choice you’re making, then as the Aussie’s say “Good on ya, mate!” Here’s the catch twenty-two if you are truly happy about it, you probably have to work to stay single. Happy people tend to be great catches. Go figure.
The Rehab. Simply realize that if you are not satisfied and fulfilled as a single person, you will never be satisfied or fulfilled in a couple.
As author Tracy McMillan says “The good news is that I believe every woman who wants to can find a great partner. You’re just going to need to get rid of the idea that marriage will make you happy. It won’t. Once the initial high wears off, you’ll just be you, except with twice as much laundry.”
So stop your lamenting and find the satisfaction (gratitude) in just being you as you are alone.
4. You Can’t Get Good Customer Service Anywhere! You have a list of places you are boycotting. You’ve had run-ins with every cashier, clerk, salesperson, and waitstaff member from Bloomingdale’s to Tar-jay. You’ve actually been banned from a few places yourself. You have neck snappin’ stories that you tell at dinner about telling people off and putting people in their place. If you wrote them all down it would be a how-to for never getting your way but always getting the last word.
The Rehab. Cut people some slack. If you’re in line for 20 minutes trying to return a faulty cocktail blender at ‘Bed Bath and Beyond’ and it feels like suffering, just think about how the return clerk, who won’t accept it without a receipt, feels having to be there for eight hours being handed broken home goods and pissy verbiage.
As a dissatisfaction junkie, you may think it’s fun to go around issuing your harsh brand of complaint justice all around the town, but all you’re really doing is narrowing your own resources. When you are considerate of other people, especially the ones who make mistakes, they will go out of their way to help you. Be thankful (there goes that gratitude thing again) for whatever they can offer even when it’s not what you hoped. Leave some room for the unexpected surprises of karmic return. Be nice. You’ll be amazed at how much easier your days will go by.
5. Lastly, If “How are you?” translates to “What are your problems today?” in your mind, you may be a dissatisfaction junkie. We all know those people. When people call, they jump right into all of the above. Issues at work, their complicated “relationship” or how much they hate being single, how that slack-jawed idiot at the Chipotle shorted their brown rice burrito bowl. Blah blah blah. It’s not “venting” when you do it all the time. It’s self-induced depression.
The Rehab. On any given day, any given human being can answer any given inquiry about their well-being in one of two ways. With a list of gripes or gratitudes (have you detected the theme yet?). If you find yourself relishing in your list of gripes and sharing it with multiple people you are definitely a dissatisfaction junkie. Just know that the first step in recovery is awareness. When we are quick to share our gratitudes it’s a win-win. Your other grateful friends will be happy for and with you. The junkies will complain that you brag too much, so at least they’ll get their fix.
Have a happy day wherever you are. Just remember, true friends will always celebrate your happiness, be inspired by your growth AND help you kick that complaint monkey off your back.
“Like” if you know some dissatisfaction junkies. “Share” if you want to get the word out. “Comment” if you have anything you wanna say about it, I’m always listening.